KING JONNY FOOTBALL CLUB
Up The Jonny
PLAYERS
SPARTANS & SUNDAYS
#1 Oscar Drinkwater
Goalkeeper
#1 Oscar Drinkwater
Our favourite minor was found on Facebook Marketplace and has since been the first choice keeper. His only flaws as of yet are that he's ginger and can't keep his legs closed.
- Height: 6'4"
- Preferred foot: Neither
#5 Callum Bousie
Manager (Left Back)
#5 Callum Bousie
Callum 'Bin' Bousie, A.K.A. The Gaffer, is King Jonny's Arsene Wenger. A disciplinarian who emphasises the importance of set pieces and defensive shape, Bousie is considered an 'old school' manager. Loves a hop, skip and a jump when we score.
- Height: 5'10"
- Preferred foot: Left
#5 Nui Trevett-Gantivar
Centre Midfield
#5 Nui Trevett-Gantivar
Found on a random Footy Addicts match. The 4'7" magician dribbles with a magnet in his feet. Some say he looks like Modric. But in reality it's Modric who looks like Nui.
- Height: 4'7"
- Preferred foot: Right
#8 Taher Ameen
Centre Midfield
#8 Taher Ameen
The Yemeni Isco has been the most consistent player for the Spartans with 4 matches played and an average rating of 8.5. Come back from your injury, please.
- Height: 5'9"
- Preferred foot: Right
#10 Ismailia Tall
Striker
#10 Ismailia Tall
Spartans' top goalscorer and worst shooter to ever exist. The Senegalese Gyokeres can dribble the whole team but couldn't finish a Sunday roast.
- Height: 5'9"
- Preferred foot: Right
#11 Aaron Matthews
Striker
#11 Aaron Matthews
Matthews is the fourth of the MMU Futsal alumni to have played for The Jonny. This shows in his game, earning him the nickname Twinkletoes. Despite his hard-faced exterior, Aaron is actually a massive Jessie J fan and is often unavailable due to her recent tour dates.
- Height: 5'9"
- Preferred foot: Both
#12 Daniel Matthew Morley
Centre Back
#12 Daniel Matthew Morley
IQ of a gingerbread. Can take a throw in or blast a half volley from 30 yards out but can't count to 10.
- Height: 6'
- Preferred foot: Right
#12 Zico D'Arcy
Centre Midfield
#12 Zico D'Arcy
D'Arcy is Club Founder and Co-Chairman. Usually injured but when available will offer the odd tackle and underhit attempted Hollywood pass.
- Height: 5'9"
- Preferred foot: Both
#13 'Dirty' Dave Halicki
Left Back
#13 'Dirty' Dave Halicki
A solid left back and even better husband, Halicki is one of the few King Jonny players retained from last season. To clarify - the nickname 'Dirty Dave' comes from his style of defending. No.13 - unlucky for some. Probably Dave too as he misses the majority of the season after requiring foot surgery from one of his classic tackles.
- Height: 6'0"
- Preferred foot: Left
#15 Salim Ifri
Centre Midfield
#15 Salim Ifri
Salim 'Morocco Man' Ifri started off as a Sundays player but has since been promoted to Spartans. Has bagged himself a goal, 3 of the best free kicks ever taken and boasts a 30% discount at Fenix.
- Height: 5'10"
- Preferred foot: Right
#18 Miguel Bango
Winger
#18 Miguel Bango
Bango joined us as a central midfielder however Bousie saw his creative spark and converted him into the Cheshire & Manchester Sunday League's very own Eden Hazard. Miggy Bangers opened his KJ account with a last-minute header against AFC Stockport Rangers
- Height: 5'7"
- Preferred foot: Right
#21 Tom Bittles
Winger
#21 Tom Bittles
Often misspelt, Tom has earned the name The Bittler after his impressive start as a King Jonny player. With plenty of goal contributions in pre-season, Tom opened his competitive account with a Charlie Adam from the halfway line against top of the league. Could play 120' every week with his tank.
- Height: 6'1"
- Preferred foot: Right
#27 Theodoros Mystakidis
Centre Back
#27 Theodoros Mystakidis
One of the two ex-international footballers to have played for The Jonny. The Greek Neek is Co-Chairman, Social Sec and also the club's quickest player. He wears a face mask, England Headband and England wristband - easily replicable on Pro Clubs.
- Height: 6'1"
- Preferred foot: Right
#28 Tom Bromley
Striker
#28 Tom Bromley
Having not scored since November, The Warrington Welbeck joined us in the Summer as a central midfielder but even Steve Bruce got it wrong with Joelinton. Since moving to striker, Bromley has netted countless goals and assists and loves playing with his back to goal.
- Height: 6'1"
- Preferred foot: Right
#32 Jack Cresswell
Striker
#32 Jack Cresswell
The most experienced of the team, "Unc" always brings his great calmness and composure to every match. He's a fan-favourite 'far-right king'. Someone check him for PEDs.
- Height: 6'1
- Preferred foot: Right
#41 Matt Lucker
Centre Back
#41 Matt Lucker
Matt 'Beefy Bert' Lucker puts his head where others wouldn't put their feet - not one thought behind those eyes. Regardless is he willing to die for the badge? I dunno.
- Height: 6'2"
- Preferred foot: Neither
#66 Promise Enoma Osayande
Winger
#66 Promise Enoma Osayande
The black Vidic, plays like the opponents owe him money. Makes every tackle produce a 5.5 Richter scale earthquake. Remains as the club's greatest ever scouting (if you know you know).
- Height: 6'3"
- Preferred foot: Right
#68 Aulon Alaj
Central Midfield
#68 Aulon Alaj
Favourite Food : Bowl of Nuts and Bolts Favourite Hobby : Gym Our huge Albanian Loni joined us in a package deal with Beefy Bert and picked up MOTM in his first start for the club, earning Biter £20 in referral fees.
- Height: 6'7"
- Preferred foot: Right
#77 Rahim Bayramov
Winger
#77 Rahim Bayramov
Coming from the mountains of Caucasus straight to 42s, the Azeri Warrior can dribble five players and then pass the ball accurately to the opponent's foot. He's the closest thing we've seen to prime Anthony Gordon.
- Height: 5’10”
- Preferred foot: Right